Sunday, March 30, 2003
There's a thread on the ze board called "The One"
I posted my sob story (careful there- everyone has a sob story, Greta.), but after giving it some thought, I do have one thing. Yet, as it seems that the conversation has died down, I won't post this there. I'll just do it here.
My brother went to Alaska to have meet his girlfriend's, now wife's, parents for the first time. As dinner was being prepared, her mom called out if my brother minded if there was some mushrooms in the evening's salad. Without a second thought, my brother said no. He didn't mind.
His girlfriend was shocked. She knew he despised mushrooms- nasty fungal pieces of grown dung.
He ate the entire meal, mushrooms and all. No sneaking them into napkins or off to the side of the plate.
Now, it's not as if he's popping mushrooms by the handful today- nasty fungal pieces of grown dung. Or that he had no choice in the matter. He just wanted, above all, to make a good impression. And not JUST because it was important to her. There weren't any expectations on him. She knew neither her parents or her wouldn't have given it another thought, either way. But, it was important to HIM. What he perceived as her happiness was that important to him, enough for him to choose to eat mushrooms- nasty fungal pieces of grown dung- without comment and without hesitation.
That's when she knew- she should hang on to this one.
THAT's what I want.
--------------------------------------
I couldn't help it. I had to. If I'm going to do workshops this summer, I better have the right equipment, yes?
It's been over a year since I've held a club in my hand. And it feels so good.
Nothing like the feeling of coming home, playing with my most treasured of toys- my juggling clubs. They are a little different than the ones I left in Oregon and I have to get used to their make-up, but... what a feeling. Balancing, spinning, twirling, flipping- my hands haven't forgotten. I started juggling when I was 12- my father taught me with three balls. Then, one Christmas, I received a set of juggling clubs from him- the teacher expecting the student to learn beyond, as he could not juggle clubs. So, I taught myself, with a book. And I've been practicing ever since. I've spent many hours in the backyard, in the kitchen, in parks, practicing. Learning new tricks, going to workshops. Learning other skills at those workshops- riding unicycles, juggling plates, the art of juggling fire torches...
So many good memories. Time to make more.
I've also bought devil sticks, another treasured toy. I picked up this distraction a few years ago after watching an aging hippie perform just outside of Pike's Place Market in Seattle. He made it look terribly more easy that it is. He sold handmade devil sticks, and was willing to show me how to "catch" the middle stick with the sticks in my hands. Now, I practice tricks with them when my hands grow tired of flipping and catching clubs.
some of my students have become interested in learning to juggle (gee, I don't know HOW that happened) So, I'm going to put together a little workshop for this summer- hence my purchases.
Really.
I swear it.
I posted my sob story (careful there- everyone has a sob story, Greta.), but after giving it some thought, I do have one thing. Yet, as it seems that the conversation has died down, I won't post this there. I'll just do it here.
My brother went to Alaska to have meet his girlfriend's, now wife's, parents for the first time. As dinner was being prepared, her mom called out if my brother minded if there was some mushrooms in the evening's salad. Without a second thought, my brother said no. He didn't mind.
His girlfriend was shocked. She knew he despised mushrooms- nasty fungal pieces of grown dung.
He ate the entire meal, mushrooms and all. No sneaking them into napkins or off to the side of the plate.
Now, it's not as if he's popping mushrooms by the handful today- nasty fungal pieces of grown dung. Or that he had no choice in the matter. He just wanted, above all, to make a good impression. And not JUST because it was important to her. There weren't any expectations on him. She knew neither her parents or her wouldn't have given it another thought, either way. But, it was important to HIM. What he perceived as her happiness was that important to him, enough for him to choose to eat mushrooms- nasty fungal pieces of grown dung- without comment and without hesitation.
That's when she knew- she should hang on to this one.
THAT's what I want.
--------------------------------------
I couldn't help it. I had to. If I'm going to do workshops this summer, I better have the right equipment, yes?
It's been over a year since I've held a club in my hand. And it feels so good.
Nothing like the feeling of coming home, playing with my most treasured of toys- my juggling clubs. They are a little different than the ones I left in Oregon and I have to get used to their make-up, but... what a feeling. Balancing, spinning, twirling, flipping- my hands haven't forgotten. I started juggling when I was 12- my father taught me with three balls. Then, one Christmas, I received a set of juggling clubs from him- the teacher expecting the student to learn beyond, as he could not juggle clubs. So, I taught myself, with a book. And I've been practicing ever since. I've spent many hours in the backyard, in the kitchen, in parks, practicing. Learning new tricks, going to workshops. Learning other skills at those workshops- riding unicycles, juggling plates, the art of juggling fire torches...
So many good memories. Time to make more.
I've also bought devil sticks, another treasured toy. I picked up this distraction a few years ago after watching an aging hippie perform just outside of Pike's Place Market in Seattle. He made it look terribly more easy that it is. He sold handmade devil sticks, and was willing to show me how to "catch" the middle stick with the sticks in my hands. Now, I practice tricks with them when my hands grow tired of flipping and catching clubs.
some of my students have become interested in learning to juggle (gee, I don't know HOW that happened) So, I'm going to put together a little workshop for this summer- hence my purchases.
Really.
I swear it.
Monday, March 24, 2003
So I went to a dinner in Tokyo this weekend- the discussion, of course, was about the war.
I was the only American present- surrounded by four Canadians, one Kiwi and one Japanese. Of course, there was the general slamming of Bush, his cowboy policies, his inability to lie convincingly, etc. But, out of all those people in the room, I was the only one with the political ability to have made a choice about this man. It didn't seem like it was enough to say that I was genuinely sorry about the actions of my country's leadership and, no, I didn't vote for it.
It made me sound like I was just as powerless as them- which, we both know, is simply not true.
I have found that being American is one of the most unique citizenships in the world- you are still expected to pay federal taxes, vote, register with embassies, and basically keep abreast of what is happening with America while you are abroad. It seems that if you are an ex-pat, you should be especially aware of US foreign policy, historically and presently. It becomes second nature after awhile, if only because you might be a little curious why some people laugh when you tell them your nationality. The 4th of July becomes your second birthday, whether or not you yourself observe the day- people around you will remember it. In short, being American becomes much more of your identity than it does when you are living in America.
And at times like this, it's not one to be proud of.
I am tired of having to apologize for the atrocities that my government does. I am tired of the private joke that the rest of the world is in on about America. I am tired of having people tell me "You aren't like any other American I've met before" and have that be considered a compliment. I am tired of having to search for another citizenship so I don't feel threatened if I decide to travel to areas that America has used a deadly hammer to kill a fly.
Most of all, I am tired of pretending to be powerless to change this.
---------------------------------------
I spent the next day walking. Just walking. All day, walking.
Ended up in a Toys 'R Us. I love toy stores. There's a great one in Portland called "Finnegan's" (between 5th and 6th on Salmon St.). Old brick and wood building, there are plenty of toys open to play with, costumes, puppets, yo-yo's, and THE best selection of chemistry sets I've ever seen. If you are lucky, you'll be able to give Finnegan (the cat) a chin scratch. Good way to spend an afternoon.
Toys R' Us in Japan are a little disappointing. There's sort of a cultural notion that kids aren't really kids, but rather small, type-A adults. So, there's a lot of clothes and personal safety stuff, as well as computer games. Not much open to play with, but it's still interesting to wander through. For the girls, there seems to be more dollhouse type toys (which, interestingly, are not for mini people, but little dressed-up doormice or Hello Kitty) Lots of batons to be a majorette, but none of them open to wow the nearby kids with (yes, I can twirl). And yes, shocking Barbie pink everywhere.
For the boys, action figures galore- Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and some other obviously American imports, but I can't remember. Gruesome monsters, things to scare sisters with, etc. All the same sort of stuff as American boys, but less selection.
I have decided that I'm going to buy some Lego sets at some point before returning- it's one of the best ways to show people what Japan looks like. They've got everything- gas stations, noodle shops, Mister Donut's, but of course, in miniturized versions. I'll buy a few, build them up, and make a mini version of my town. That way, people don't feel like they have to spend an arm and a leg to come visit and I still get to share (a little version of) my world now.
I was the only American present- surrounded by four Canadians, one Kiwi and one Japanese. Of course, there was the general slamming of Bush, his cowboy policies, his inability to lie convincingly, etc. But, out of all those people in the room, I was the only one with the political ability to have made a choice about this man. It didn't seem like it was enough to say that I was genuinely sorry about the actions of my country's leadership and, no, I didn't vote for it.
It made me sound like I was just as powerless as them- which, we both know, is simply not true.
I have found that being American is one of the most unique citizenships in the world- you are still expected to pay federal taxes, vote, register with embassies, and basically keep abreast of what is happening with America while you are abroad. It seems that if you are an ex-pat, you should be especially aware of US foreign policy, historically and presently. It becomes second nature after awhile, if only because you might be a little curious why some people laugh when you tell them your nationality. The 4th of July becomes your second birthday, whether or not you yourself observe the day- people around you will remember it. In short, being American becomes much more of your identity than it does when you are living in America.
And at times like this, it's not one to be proud of.
I am tired of having to apologize for the atrocities that my government does. I am tired of the private joke that the rest of the world is in on about America. I am tired of having people tell me "You aren't like any other American I've met before" and have that be considered a compliment. I am tired of having to search for another citizenship so I don't feel threatened if I decide to travel to areas that America has used a deadly hammer to kill a fly.
Most of all, I am tired of pretending to be powerless to change this.
---------------------------------------
I spent the next day walking. Just walking. All day, walking.
Ended up in a Toys 'R Us. I love toy stores. There's a great one in Portland called "Finnegan's" (between 5th and 6th on Salmon St.). Old brick and wood building, there are plenty of toys open to play with, costumes, puppets, yo-yo's, and THE best selection of chemistry sets I've ever seen. If you are lucky, you'll be able to give Finnegan (the cat) a chin scratch. Good way to spend an afternoon.
Toys R' Us in Japan are a little disappointing. There's sort of a cultural notion that kids aren't really kids, but rather small, type-A adults. So, there's a lot of clothes and personal safety stuff, as well as computer games. Not much open to play with, but it's still interesting to wander through. For the girls, there seems to be more dollhouse type toys (which, interestingly, are not for mini people, but little dressed-up doormice or Hello Kitty) Lots of batons to be a majorette, but none of them open to wow the nearby kids with (yes, I can twirl). And yes, shocking Barbie pink everywhere.
For the boys, action figures galore- Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and some other obviously American imports, but I can't remember. Gruesome monsters, things to scare sisters with, etc. All the same sort of stuff as American boys, but less selection.
I have decided that I'm going to buy some Lego sets at some point before returning- it's one of the best ways to show people what Japan looks like. They've got everything- gas stations, noodle shops, Mister Donut's, but of course, in miniturized versions. I'll buy a few, build them up, and make a mini version of my town. That way, people don't feel like they have to spend an arm and a leg to come visit and I still get to share (a little version of) my world now.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
I want to run.
Not away. Towards it.
Towards what makes me want to turn away from what I should care about, what I should love. I want to run to the vileness that pushes me away from what I know, from the people who keep me loosely tied to the world outside. I want to fix it and not in piecemeal fragments, but all of it. Together. One fell swoop. It's the same arguments, the same ideas- somehow it's all tied to each other. Change the one, change the whole.
What happens when neither fight nor flight works any longer? What becomes of the person with no options, who has spent it's last hope on the underdog- and lost it? What happens when right and wrong bears little on the powers that be?
Both sides are calling upon their respective Gods now. Indeed, these are the sort of moments when people seek and find God- as it is a sort of "hide-and-go-seek" game. There is no way I can bring myself to that place- not for something like this- something so pedantic, so avoidable as this. God has no say in matters such as these. Humans have made it, humans will have to decide for ourselves.
In all of our glory.
Not away. Towards it.
Towards what makes me want to turn away from what I should care about, what I should love. I want to run to the vileness that pushes me away from what I know, from the people who keep me loosely tied to the world outside. I want to fix it and not in piecemeal fragments, but all of it. Together. One fell swoop. It's the same arguments, the same ideas- somehow it's all tied to each other. Change the one, change the whole.
What happens when neither fight nor flight works any longer? What becomes of the person with no options, who has spent it's last hope on the underdog- and lost it? What happens when right and wrong bears little on the powers that be?
Both sides are calling upon their respective Gods now. Indeed, these are the sort of moments when people seek and find God- as it is a sort of "hide-and-go-seek" game. There is no way I can bring myself to that place- not for something like this- something so pedantic, so avoidable as this. God has no say in matters such as these. Humans have made it, humans will have to decide for ourselves.
In all of our glory.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
I find myself at a loss for words.
I search, poetry...I know there's a poem by Szymborska that talks about war. About how it is to just clean up afterwards. I can't find it.
I search my music selection...I know there is a song or two that encapture my feeling of...
what? what are the words...?
I don't know.
I really don't know anymore.
The words are sitting on the edge of my mind.
And I'm too spent to reach out to them.
I can't speak about it anymore with my students- there's no way that I can encompass what I feel in my normal vocabulary, much less the reduced vocabulary I use in classes.
Words have been shoved aside anyhow. What we will do is what we have done.
I search, poetry...I know there's a poem by Szymborska that talks about war. About how it is to just clean up afterwards. I can't find it.
I search my music selection...I know there is a song or two that encapture my feeling of...
what? what are the words...?
I don't know.
I really don't know anymore.
The words are sitting on the edge of my mind.
And I'm too spent to reach out to them.
I can't speak about it anymore with my students- there's no way that I can encompass what I feel in my normal vocabulary, much less the reduced vocabulary I use in classes.
Words have been shoved aside anyhow. What we will do is what we have done.
Saturday, March 15, 2003
so I want to flesh this out
I've made the decision to go back to school to get my Master's degree in International Relations.
Looking at my life right now, I have several options before me.
1. Continue teaching English
2. Not continue teaching English, but still be out and about traveling.
3. Not continue teaching English, and return to the states.
Let's explore these.
Continue teaching English- I'm making pretty decent money and I am actually being paid to use my brain rather than my hands. Most of all, I have learned much and I have enjoyed myself immensely. But, I have worked for some terribly mismanged schools that leave me feeling that I can do so much better than this. It's very hard to support a school that you yourself don't respect. I have been offered management positions before, but that is exactly what I don't want. I love kids. I love creating messes with kids. I don't like to be a disciplinarian; that part is the hardest for me just being a teacher. Crossing into the realm of administration is not where I want to be.
Besides mismanagment of schools, there is still a very high level of transience in doing this. Your home, your life is tied to the school that hires you. Most of the time, a contract will only be for one year. Every year, you have to be willing to pack up and go wherever there's a job. Additionally, most of the social ties, your personal business, your ability to experience the culture is very much tied to that school. If you don't like where you work, then it sours the whole experience tremendously. Plus, these kids have it all- money, cell phones, two parents who love and care for them, incredible schools. I'm not saying that there aren't kids who need help in Japan, or that they shouldn't have these opportunities. But to them and their parents, signing up for my class is their way of getting ahead in business later on in life. And that's great. Good for them. But someone else can fill my shoes- and will.
So as much as I have enjoyed and learned from teaching English, I think it's time for me to either take it more seriously (i.e. get a teaching degree) or find something else to do.
Not continue teaching English, but still out and about traveling- let's see...I've managed a hostel, cleaned sailboats, picked fruit, filed, cooked, fixed computers; all in exchange for either room and board or money. None of them provide the kind of income I have now. There's a reason I started teaching in the first place and I'm not going to go backwards. (well...the hostel WAS a fun gig. A lot of doing laundry though.)
Not continue teaching English, and return to the states.- despite what many people think, my transiency has not been well received by potential employers in the past. If I've left before, I can leave again. Agreed, but that doesn't mean I won't do the job in the meantime. My options, at 23, are basically limited to manager of a Subway (a teacher in China I roomed with has returned to that very job in Winnipeg) or working in a menial office job until I can find "something better".
I ran away for many reasons, and that is definitely one of them.
So, why a Master's degree in International Relations?
There are elements of my current life that I want to preserve.
First, yes. It's nice getting paid more than $200 per month. I like that I can finally tell my friends and family I can come visit them soon. I like being able to buy paints, buy a CD, buy a book and not have to think "Will I have to skip out on a meal later because I bought this?".
Second, I like having a little more stablity in my professional and personal life. Right now, I have my own physical space to paint, write, take photographs. I haven't had that in a very long time. But I'm sort of lacking a physical community- my social life are my students. Besides that, moving year after year is a sure fire way to lose friendships, no matter how cherished they are.
Yet, I love traveling. Always have, always will. I have an insatiable curiousity about the world and I love feeding it. Roar. Yum yum.
And yeah, sure. It's exciting not to knowing if I'll be in Mumbai or Melbourne in September.
But, after moving my ENTIRE life five times in the past year, and looking having to do it again (and again, and again, if I keep teaching), it gets to be old. I'm not a clothes horse, but I do like having more than three shirts to chose from. I'm looking forward to my trip in May, because it will be the first time I've been traveling without moving my computer, my books, my clothes and my memories along with me. And... I won't have to say goodbye this time.
Okay, so we know I want some more stability. Got that.
But, why this move back to academia specifically? What am I gonna do with it?
One of my favorite teaching gigs was working with China Telecom. They are the biggest telecommunications company in China, and they were gearing up for a major economic summit- journalists and politicians from around the world and Asia were to converge for something called the Boao Forum. China Telecom was to provide all the telecommunication services needed by these folks- and they needed to be able to provide it in the common lanugage of the summit: English. During those six weeks, I worked my tail off learning the ins and outs of modern telecommunications, business presentations, cultural nuances of the other member states joining this summit. I loved it. Yet, I almost didn't get the job because of my youth and "inexperience". I was hardly legitimate in anyones' eyes, and until I could prove myself, no one took me seriously. But I got it and they did fantastically- met the Foreign Minister of India and Mr. Stevens from CNN (I STILL have no idea who that is).
Very few people take me seriously here, and I'm just teaching kids classes.
Having that document in my pocket will quickly legitimize to employers that I am serious about being able to do this- enough to spend time researching it.
Businesses may be the ones to have bucks to spend for this sort of venture, but it's not where I want to focus completely.
I think it's pretty clear that I am more than a little peeved as of late about how America is presenting itself to the world. I am tired of having to answer for this country's foreign policy- I'm even more tired of not even knowing what that policy has been in the past, or what it is now. So, I've started researching.
So far what I have found has made me absolutely sick.
We need to change.
NOW
But this administration has only been making it worse. MUCH WORSE.
I am being completely serious when I say that George W. Bush has painted a target on every single American living aboard, regardless of where.
Yes, even in beloved, peaceful New Zealand.
But, there is a good side to this.
After his administration, there will be a sore need to rebuild those bridges with our former allies, and rethink our position in many geopolitical arenas. I think we will be forced to do this because if we wage this illegal war on Iraq, it WILL fire worldwide anger the likes we have never seen before. And we will have to face the consquences of our actions yet again. But, hopefully, more of us will take the chance to do better.
I want to be on the forefront of making that better. NGO's seem to be the go, as does the UN. There are some great oraganizations out there that could use some help- qualified voices from people who give a damn. The best way to move a mountain is to create an earthquake from the inside.
At some point, I would to use those experiences and connections to do this: I would love to start up an organization that builds playgrounds in war-ravaged societies- Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Afghanistan. These children need places to play, but all to often, playgrounds are considered unaffordable luxuries. How else are these kids going to forget, to diffuse their confusion and anger, re-tie themselves happily to their childhood, their homeland? Every child deserves a place to play (as well as three meals a day and place to sleep), despite the shenanigans their adults are up to.
Anyway, I'm looking at it like this: get the masters, do some consulting work. Be able to have some stability, but still feeding that curious peregrinator. Grow some tomato plants. Have a dog and a cat. Do something I believe in. Purchase that sailboat I've always wanted. Maybe learn to fly a plane.
Best laid plans, yadda yadda yadda. I know it's susecptable to change. But I've never planned beyond three months before. This is a big step.
Believe me.
I've made the decision to go back to school to get my Master's degree in International Relations.
Looking at my life right now, I have several options before me.
1. Continue teaching English
2. Not continue teaching English, but still be out and about traveling.
3. Not continue teaching English, and return to the states.
Let's explore these.
Continue teaching English- I'm making pretty decent money and I am actually being paid to use my brain rather than my hands. Most of all, I have learned much and I have enjoyed myself immensely. But, I have worked for some terribly mismanged schools that leave me feeling that I can do so much better than this. It's very hard to support a school that you yourself don't respect. I have been offered management positions before, but that is exactly what I don't want. I love kids. I love creating messes with kids. I don't like to be a disciplinarian; that part is the hardest for me just being a teacher. Crossing into the realm of administration is not where I want to be.
Besides mismanagment of schools, there is still a very high level of transience in doing this. Your home, your life is tied to the school that hires you. Most of the time, a contract will only be for one year. Every year, you have to be willing to pack up and go wherever there's a job. Additionally, most of the social ties, your personal business, your ability to experience the culture is very much tied to that school. If you don't like where you work, then it sours the whole experience tremendously. Plus, these kids have it all- money, cell phones, two parents who love and care for them, incredible schools. I'm not saying that there aren't kids who need help in Japan, or that they shouldn't have these opportunities. But to them and their parents, signing up for my class is their way of getting ahead in business later on in life. And that's great. Good for them. But someone else can fill my shoes- and will.
So as much as I have enjoyed and learned from teaching English, I think it's time for me to either take it more seriously (i.e. get a teaching degree) or find something else to do.
Not continue teaching English, but still out and about traveling- let's see...I've managed a hostel, cleaned sailboats, picked fruit, filed, cooked, fixed computers; all in exchange for either room and board or money. None of them provide the kind of income I have now. There's a reason I started teaching in the first place and I'm not going to go backwards. (well...the hostel WAS a fun gig. A lot of doing laundry though.)
Not continue teaching English, and return to the states.- despite what many people think, my transiency has not been well received by potential employers in the past. If I've left before, I can leave again. Agreed, but that doesn't mean I won't do the job in the meantime. My options, at 23, are basically limited to manager of a Subway (a teacher in China I roomed with has returned to that very job in Winnipeg) or working in a menial office job until I can find "something better".
I ran away for many reasons, and that is definitely one of them.
So, why a Master's degree in International Relations?
There are elements of my current life that I want to preserve.
First, yes. It's nice getting paid more than $200 per month. I like that I can finally tell my friends and family I can come visit them soon. I like being able to buy paints, buy a CD, buy a book and not have to think "Will I have to skip out on a meal later because I bought this?".
Second, I like having a little more stablity in my professional and personal life. Right now, I have my own physical space to paint, write, take photographs. I haven't had that in a very long time. But I'm sort of lacking a physical community- my social life are my students. Besides that, moving year after year is a sure fire way to lose friendships, no matter how cherished they are.
Yet, I love traveling. Always have, always will. I have an insatiable curiousity about the world and I love feeding it. Roar. Yum yum.
And yeah, sure. It's exciting not to knowing if I'll be in Mumbai or Melbourne in September.
But, after moving my ENTIRE life five times in the past year, and looking having to do it again (and again, and again, if I keep teaching), it gets to be old. I'm not a clothes horse, but I do like having more than three shirts to chose from. I'm looking forward to my trip in May, because it will be the first time I've been traveling without moving my computer, my books, my clothes and my memories along with me. And... I won't have to say goodbye this time.
Okay, so we know I want some more stability. Got that.
But, why this move back to academia specifically? What am I gonna do with it?
One of my favorite teaching gigs was working with China Telecom. They are the biggest telecommunications company in China, and they were gearing up for a major economic summit- journalists and politicians from around the world and Asia were to converge for something called the Boao Forum. China Telecom was to provide all the telecommunication services needed by these folks- and they needed to be able to provide it in the common lanugage of the summit: English. During those six weeks, I worked my tail off learning the ins and outs of modern telecommunications, business presentations, cultural nuances of the other member states joining this summit. I loved it. Yet, I almost didn't get the job because of my youth and "inexperience". I was hardly legitimate in anyones' eyes, and until I could prove myself, no one took me seriously. But I got it and they did fantastically- met the Foreign Minister of India and Mr. Stevens from CNN (I STILL have no idea who that is).
Very few people take me seriously here, and I'm just teaching kids classes.
Having that document in my pocket will quickly legitimize to employers that I am serious about being able to do this- enough to spend time researching it.
Businesses may be the ones to have bucks to spend for this sort of venture, but it's not where I want to focus completely.
I think it's pretty clear that I am more than a little peeved as of late about how America is presenting itself to the world. I am tired of having to answer for this country's foreign policy- I'm even more tired of not even knowing what that policy has been in the past, or what it is now. So, I've started researching.
So far what I have found has made me absolutely sick.
We need to change.
NOW
But this administration has only been making it worse. MUCH WORSE.
I am being completely serious when I say that George W. Bush has painted a target on every single American living aboard, regardless of where.
Yes, even in beloved, peaceful New Zealand.
But, there is a good side to this.
After his administration, there will be a sore need to rebuild those bridges with our former allies, and rethink our position in many geopolitical arenas. I think we will be forced to do this because if we wage this illegal war on Iraq, it WILL fire worldwide anger the likes we have never seen before. And we will have to face the consquences of our actions yet again. But, hopefully, more of us will take the chance to do better.
I want to be on the forefront of making that better. NGO's seem to be the go, as does the UN. There are some great oraganizations out there that could use some help- qualified voices from people who give a damn. The best way to move a mountain is to create an earthquake from the inside.
At some point, I would to use those experiences and connections to do this: I would love to start up an organization that builds playgrounds in war-ravaged societies- Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Afghanistan. These children need places to play, but all to often, playgrounds are considered unaffordable luxuries. How else are these kids going to forget, to diffuse their confusion and anger, re-tie themselves happily to their childhood, their homeland? Every child deserves a place to play (as well as three meals a day and place to sleep), despite the shenanigans their adults are up to.
Anyway, I'm looking at it like this: get the masters, do some consulting work. Be able to have some stability, but still feeding that curious peregrinator. Grow some tomato plants. Have a dog and a cat. Do something I believe in. Purchase that sailboat I've always wanted. Maybe learn to fly a plane.
Best laid plans, yadda yadda yadda. I know it's susecptable to change. But I've never planned beyond three months before. This is a big step.
Believe me.
Friday, March 14, 2003
Rubbing my hands together after taking my morning shower, I'm always reminded of Sam. The roughness of clean hands must feel good on cat fur, because he would spend every morning with me, expecting a few strokes with freshly-showered hands; hands turned to big momma cat tongues. He is a creature of routine, sunshine and turkey. And bathrooms. For some reason, he loves the bathroom. Calvin too, but for different reasons. Calvin likes watching running water in all its forms. Sam, I think, just likes the small room where he can sometimes receive big momma tongue strokes.
My boys. I wonder how they are doing these days.
I'm being held captive by phlegm.
Lately, I've been painting butterflies.It's been a great way to play with colors, just getting a sense of the brush, what looks good, etc. It's like coloring with crayons, only sexier.
Dear Iraqi citizens,
I would like to ask if your military can come over and remove the leader of America. We pose a direct threat to your country. We have been violation of UN resolutions. We have weapons of mass destruction. The people in power right now have been directly involved with actions that would be considered crimes against humanity in the eyes of the newly appointed ICC. It's time for a regime change. If you do, you could possibly help "stabilize" this area according to the non-aligned movement. I know you can't really afford such a venture, especially considering you may have abosultly no idea what you are going to do with the power vaccuum you will inevitablely create. Our leader was not choosen democratically, but appointed. We are unable to start our own coup d'etat. We need your help.
signed,
a concerned american
I watched Senator Bill Bryson (Demo., Foreign Relations Committee) on HARDTALK, a debate show on the BBC world. I love watching American politicians on there- they are the only ones that defend themselves by turning the questioning onto the moderator. And he was able to hold his own ground, which was nice to see- but that was because he is more ideologically in sync with the moderator. I find it disturbing that no representative from the Bush administration showed up to testify on what do about Iraq after the war. They are budgeting $100 billion over the next 5-10 years for restructuring the country- but there is essentially no plan how that money will be spent.
Ever increasing evidence that we are buggered with a diplomatic moron who can't manage his way out of a wet paper bag.
My boys. I wonder how they are doing these days.
I'm being held captive by phlegm.
Lately, I've been painting butterflies.It's been a great way to play with colors, just getting a sense of the brush, what looks good, etc. It's like coloring with crayons, only sexier.
Dear Iraqi citizens,
I would like to ask if your military can come over and remove the leader of America. We pose a direct threat to your country. We have been violation of UN resolutions. We have weapons of mass destruction. The people in power right now have been directly involved with actions that would be considered crimes against humanity in the eyes of the newly appointed ICC. It's time for a regime change. If you do, you could possibly help "stabilize" this area according to the non-aligned movement. I know you can't really afford such a venture, especially considering you may have abosultly no idea what you are going to do with the power vaccuum you will inevitablely create. Our leader was not choosen democratically, but appointed. We are unable to start our own coup d'etat. We need your help.
signed,
a concerned american
I watched Senator Bill Bryson (Demo., Foreign Relations Committee) on HARDTALK, a debate show on the BBC world. I love watching American politicians on there- they are the only ones that defend themselves by turning the questioning onto the moderator. And he was able to hold his own ground, which was nice to see- but that was because he is more ideologically in sync with the moderator. I find it disturbing that no representative from the Bush administration showed up to testify on what do about Iraq after the war. They are budgeting $100 billion over the next 5-10 years for restructuring the country- but there is essentially no plan how that money will be spent.
Ever increasing evidence that we are buggered with a diplomatic moron who can't manage his way out of a wet paper bag.
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
I'm eating a chinese secret.
jiao-zhua in Chinese, gyoza in Japanese, they are addictive little chinese pork and cabbage dumplings. The lip-lickin' part is the dipping sauce- it's a mix of soy sauce, sesame oil, hot pepper and vinegar. Every little proper Chinese wife knows how to make these- in fact they are used to judge the character of future wives...can they make a good jiao-zhua? If not, no marriage proposal.
In Japan, they are something of a food trend, like making enchiladas- your grandmother probably won't make them, but you might give it a go for a fun Friday night.
Anyway, I mentioned to one of my students that I would love to learn how to make gyoza. It's a guarded secret among Chinese women, but here, not so much is at stake for sharing the recipe. So, we both decided that a quality English lesson would be showing me how to make gyoza.
Tonight, Kumiko came bustled with all the Chinese spices. I spent the morning at the grocery store trying to find the other ingredients: ground pork, chinese cabbage, dumpling wraps, corn starch, and dipping sauce ingredients. Getting the pork was fun. I walked up to the lady behind the butcher counter, pointed to some ground meat and made a pig noise, complete with snorts. She gave me an odd look, realized what I was asking, and laughed. She giggled the whole time as I tried my conversational Japanese, just so she didn't think I was a complete tard of a gai-jin, not knowing any Japanese. I just didn't know what "pork" was.
Later, Kumiko told me she would have known what pork was. Oh well. That way was more fun.
The gyoza was delicious, if not a little underdone, as her lesson is only an hour long and I had another class right after.
I'd share the recipe, but....
it's a secret.
jiao-zhua in Chinese, gyoza in Japanese, they are addictive little chinese pork and cabbage dumplings. The lip-lickin' part is the dipping sauce- it's a mix of soy sauce, sesame oil, hot pepper and vinegar. Every little proper Chinese wife knows how to make these- in fact they are used to judge the character of future wives...can they make a good jiao-zhua? If not, no marriage proposal.
In Japan, they are something of a food trend, like making enchiladas- your grandmother probably won't make them, but you might give it a go for a fun Friday night.
Anyway, I mentioned to one of my students that I would love to learn how to make gyoza. It's a guarded secret among Chinese women, but here, not so much is at stake for sharing the recipe. So, we both decided that a quality English lesson would be showing me how to make gyoza.
Tonight, Kumiko came bustled with all the Chinese spices. I spent the morning at the grocery store trying to find the other ingredients: ground pork, chinese cabbage, dumpling wraps, corn starch, and dipping sauce ingredients. Getting the pork was fun. I walked up to the lady behind the butcher counter, pointed to some ground meat and made a pig noise, complete with snorts. She gave me an odd look, realized what I was asking, and laughed. She giggled the whole time as I tried my conversational Japanese, just so she didn't think I was a complete tard of a gai-jin, not knowing any Japanese. I just didn't know what "pork" was.
Later, Kumiko told me she would have known what pork was. Oh well. That way was more fun.
The gyoza was delicious, if not a little underdone, as her lesson is only an hour long and I had another class right after.
I'd share the recipe, but....
it's a secret.
Saturday, March 08, 2003
daysss
just finished teaching my new saturday night class. it's only for an hour and it's with some terrific kids, but there's is just something about the timing of it- a day with an "s" in it, or the number of work days now...six, seven. Somehow, the idea of work and the letter "s" seems to be incompatable in my mind. I think I may have spent too many summery Saturdays strapped to a station, slaving away at sales support and staring at small staplers. The letter "s" should be saved for sipping sangrias in the Seychelles, stargazing, scuba diving, sailing, savoring sunsets. I was so proud that I had finally acheived the level of work-free weekends. It lasted all of six months. One day, I hope to get all my weekends in one lump sum.
Because of my allergies, my voice has been widdled down to nearly nothing, which is not good for my job. Shigeru, my japanese teacher, told me that pollen falls from cedars all month long. So, for the entire month of March, I'm doomed to look, feel, and sound hungover, only with a runny nose. I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom of the grocery store yesterday, just blowing my nose. BUT this is the coolest grocery store in town- they play western pop songs from the 80s and 90s. So, in between blows, I'm mouthing the words to Bon Jovi's "Bad Medicine" or INXS "Suicide Blonde", dancing over the squat toliet.
always look on the bright side of life...
just finished teaching my new saturday night class. it's only for an hour and it's with some terrific kids, but there's is just something about the timing of it- a day with an "s" in it, or the number of work days now...six, seven. Somehow, the idea of work and the letter "s" seems to be incompatable in my mind. I think I may have spent too many summery Saturdays strapped to a station, slaving away at sales support and staring at small staplers. The letter "s" should be saved for sipping sangrias in the Seychelles, stargazing, scuba diving, sailing, savoring sunsets. I was so proud that I had finally acheived the level of work-free weekends. It lasted all of six months. One day, I hope to get all my weekends in one lump sum.
Because of my allergies, my voice has been widdled down to nearly nothing, which is not good for my job. Shigeru, my japanese teacher, told me that pollen falls from cedars all month long. So, for the entire month of March, I'm doomed to look, feel, and sound hungover, only with a runny nose. I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom of the grocery store yesterday, just blowing my nose. BUT this is the coolest grocery store in town- they play western pop songs from the 80s and 90s. So, in between blows, I'm mouthing the words to Bon Jovi's "Bad Medicine" or INXS "Suicide Blonde", dancing over the squat toliet.
always look on the bright side of life...
Friday, March 07, 2003
okay, so at the insistance of the lovely lala from lala-land, here I am with my first blog.
allow some time for my brain to adjust to having yet another internet playground to goof off on.
for readership, plum blossoms are out now. pollen falling from cedars, which are making my eyes red-rimmed and my nose runny.
my first attempt at allergies. I think I'm doing a bang-up job of it.
allow some time for my brain to adjust to having yet another internet playground to goof off on.
for readership, plum blossoms are out now. pollen falling from cedars, which are making my eyes red-rimmed and my nose runny.
my first attempt at allergies. I think I'm doing a bang-up job of it.
